wingerthis' Journal

Hi LOng time no type. Well my husband dropped a bombshell on me today. He wants to go home to Pennsylvania into a home. That leaves me high and dry. Part of me is happy the other wonders how I can afford it. He would take my total household income. I would have nothing a month to live on. Shit and trying to go to school full time. I would love to move away from this hell hole I live in but I can't do that either. So what to do??? To top it all off I failed a nursing class and now it is going to take another year longer to get my BSN. I may have to go get my ADN instead and settle for that.

Current Mood: anxious

Hello world I'm still alive (barely some days). School is still there and so am I. Just waiting for next May. Seems like forever. My daughter is getting ready to go to college now. She wants to do Social Work. The thought of that would drive me to drink, but she thinks nursings sucks. So I guess it evens out. My husbands health is slowly going downhill the doctor is starting him on another alzheimer pill. He has pushed his Exelon to the limit I think. Have to wait and see how that is going to work. Could get really interesting around here.

Current Mood: busy

Well I didn't get the job. It was for Nursing Apprentice, oh well guess it wasn't meant to be. So I guess I hit the pavement come Monday. I HATE LOOKING FOR A JOB. It has to be the single most depressing thing to do. I don't know maybe it's just me. Having a typical Friday the 13th. Call on the 4 wheeled walker with seat for my husband and the insurance turned it down. Like I have 170 buck to buy it myself. I'm overdrawn on not 1 but 2 checking accts. (pretty good) it's gift.

Current Mood: depressed

Hi all. Well things are going ok, but just ok. Having a bad month on money. A few extra bills this month that were not planned for, I hate those. So anyone got any ideas for grocery shopping for 3 with 10 bucks for a month let me know. Other than that alls well. My phlebotomy class is moving right along. I start doing clinicals on that in 2 weeks. I have a job interview Monday do wish me luck. I made applesauce from scratch for the first time this week and I surprised myself it was good.

Current Mood: blah

Hi all what's up. I'm sore I found out I might have Lupus just what I don't need. Ain't going to worry about though. Can't go to doctor for treatments anyway so why worry about it. I've got my Ebay business up running again this summer. Look under wingerthis for some great buys (hint hint). My phlebotomy class is moving right along plus I have a job interview coming up soon. It's for a nurse apprentice. Don't know much about what they are looking for, but I'll be there to find out. I'm trying to get my husband a new walker one with a seat on it. It would help him a lot when he gets out to fish. Well that's it for now bye.

Current Mood: sore

Hi all, well I did it, it's all over I passed all my classes my first year in the nursing program is over. Let me tell you if was getting iffy. I've done pretty good through out college never getting below a B in any class until this semester. I've have never fought so hard for a C in my life, and you know what it's okay. I feel better about that C then any of the A's strange isn't it. I only have 2 years left. YAHOO. It's only going to take me 5 years to do a 4 year program. I guess starting college right out of high school helps heh. Twenty years later cost you an extra year. Other than that things are going pretty good. Finals were hell, but I guess that's to be expected. My husband is starting to feel better he has had a rough time lately, but I changed doctors and this one seems to know what's what. Seems he doesn't have Chron's disease, but Ulcerative cholilitis. To bad they can't fix the Alzheimer's. Anyway he isn't going to be trap in the house much anymore because of the lost of bowel control now, so that's good. I figure he only has a couple of good years left so I'm glad we got things under control so he can somewhat enjoy these years. Well that's it for now.

Current Mood: jubilant

Hi all. What a week it's spring break and I've busted my butt catching up on homework. I spent more time at school than I do when it's a normal school day. I locked myself in my office with no distractions (Husbands, kids, cats, and a psyhcotic aide) and got a lot of work done. My aide for husband got fire today. I felt bad, but the girl has been working for me since the end of December and hasn't work a full week yet. I felt sorry for her she is a single Mother of 2, but she wouldn't help herself. So now I have to train a new one.
I went to the doctor for a booby squeeze and got some Ativan for my plane flight. Can't wait to fly now. I just feel better when my feet are on the ground. I try not to let my fear get to me, bur drugs help.
I lead such a exciting life (boring).

Current Mood: tired

Well I'm back. My school schedule is killing me. I haven't been on my puter much unless it's research or NCLEX questions. I barely have time to say hi to my Mom and some days I don't even get to do that. I've been up in Spokane at the Shriner's hospital during clinicals. I had a kid with cerebral palsy I was a little nervous at first but it ended up being a great experience much to my surprise. I'm not generally a kid person but these kids had such an inner strength it's hard to explain. I am glad to be home though I think. I've been trying to study for a Pharmacotherphy test tomorrow and I just can't concentrate. Spring break starts at 3 pm on Friday and it can't get here fast enough for me. I want to get caught up on how my family's been doing. I have a cousin who probably thinks I've all but forgot her (well I haven't). Between school and my husband I haven't have time for nothing. I just bought this puter not to long ago and I don't even get a chance to visit it much lately. Oh well I knew this would happen when I made that stupid decision that I wanted to go to college. I must have bumped my head to try this at my age. To top it off my age advances ahead another year this weekend. At least spring break is within my grasp. I get to go get my booby's squashed on my first day of spring break I'm so excited. Most people go to Daytona I get a mammogram. I losing out here big time (lol). Well back to the books (yuk).

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Dazed and Confused

Hi all, I've been studying for a Patho's test it seems like forever. This semester is keeping me busy. I haven't even had a chance to visit with family. Im having a hard time with pH balances I just can't see them. Oh well I'll get there hopefully before the semester ends. That's all I've been doing going to school and studying. Of course the racing season started this weekend so that helped. I haven't even been on my puter that much, seems I check my mail the news and back to the books. My husband hospital bed finally arrived and he is very happy. He broke a rib about 2 weeks ago getting out of the old one. Well I'm back to the books

Current Mood: drained

Hi everybody. I've been studying and doing homework all day my brain is fried. I've decided Pathophysiology is going to be the death of me. I wish I understood what the hell she is saying. I'm pretty well lost after she say's "Good afternoon". Oh well I've got to get through it. I hope it starts to make sense soon. Other than that all's well. It looks like my husband will be getting a hospital bed soon. Hopefully within 2 weeks. Not much going on really did I tell you all that I won $1100.00. It was just dumb luck I'll tell you. I've been here about 5 years and I've been to the casino a total of twice now, but a friend wanted to meet there for lunch. So I only took twenty extra dollars with me. Don't get me wrong I love to gamble but not there. To pricey (I'm cheap). So that was exciting. I start my Maternity clinicals this coming week and I'm more excited about that. Well I'm signing off for now I've been chained to this machine long enough for now.

Current Mood: worried

Well hi everyone. School has started and my live is over until May. I have an aide coming in daily to be with my husband so that will help. I'm doing Maternity, Peds, and psych. clinicals this semester. I do maternity first and that excites me. Not much happen around here. Did go out and do something for me for once. I got another tattoo. I great looking arm band, and when you know who reads this she better not say anything to the other you know who. That makes 6 now they are addicting don't know why. The funny thing about tonights I could have easily fell asleep while she was doing the tattoo. For some reason the pain was the bad. Maybe I'm use to it or the location didn't bother me whatever the reason it was great. My husband has lost about 90% of his speech now and it frustrates him to no end. You can see the words rolling around in his head he just can't speak them. The doctor is doing a MRI just to make sure nothing dramatic has happened. That was done last night so don't know anything yet. I just think it's the disease process. Well I got to go for now bye all.

Current Mood: busy

Hi everyone. HAPPY NEW YEAR! I'm taking a winter class and it's fun. On the first day we tied flies. Today we went fly fishing. Monday we are going to see the wolves. It's a core class I'm taking but it's fun, and I've needed a class like this. The nursing aide that comes to the house now is working out great. My husband likes her and my house is starting to show signs that it is being cleaned. Life is still good so far, but once the semester starts on the 13th that will change. I'm taking Patho's and pharmacology plus the other nursing classes with 2 days of clinicals must have bumped my head. Oh well I'll do what I always do take one class at a time and deal with it before I know it the semester will be over, and hopefully I'll be alive. I did get approved from the State board of Nursing to be a Nursing Apprentice I'll do that over the summer. Well I'm tired going to lay down for a while. Bye

Current Mood: hopeful

I don't ever want to bake again. I have been baking since Friday and I'm still at it. I have made 6 loaves of Pumpkin bread, double chocolate chip cookies, christmas cookies all rolled and frosted, M & M cookies, pecan cookies, and Turtle cookies. I'm tired and I still have dinner to cook and these stupid goodie baskets to put together. I haven't even decorated for Christmas and I'm not. I want to go back to school I need the rest. It did snow yesterday which made it very nice. I do enjoy baking but I have seem to overloaded on it this weekend. Oh well a few more hours and it will all be done. Well MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL

I did it!!!!! School is over I made it through my first semester of the Nursing program. It was rough and iffy a few times. Things have changed a lot. My husband has now got the medical attention he has be needing. I even have a daytime aide coming in starting next Friday. I'm taking a winter class over this break. It's one of those in the long run things. If I take this one class I only have to take 4 classes each semester I have left. Which will help a lot. I ended up with 2 A's 2 B's and a P (passing). I'm getting my husband caught up on his medical problems which is a blessing. I'm even giving him breathing treatments at home. The Alzheimer's is about the same. I haven't noticed a big change there lately (thank God). I take him to a neurologist on Monday to check on that. Hasn't been to one since his diagnoses a year and a half ago. He fell and broke his back that's what made the state think well maybe they do need help (dah). So that's even been fixed. The doctor's let me observe the verteberalplasty it was so cool. So things are starting to look better. I don't want to say that to loud I'll jinx myself. Christmas will be quite around here this year and that's just fine with me. Got my daughter hooked up on my cable with a wireless router and it seems to be working great. I am not a computer geek so I'm impressed that it works.I did however get my girls (cats) new cat bowls with treats. That's the highlight of Christmas around here so far. I'm sure family is sending gifts well at least one family member maybe even UPS 2nd day. Well everyone who reads this have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Current Mood: happy

Well school is going well. My cousin's has been helping me with my papers (she is so smart) and I've been getting A's and B's. This has raised my grades up. I like it when things are on a up swing. We even get the entire week of Thanksgiving off from school. I am taking a class over Christmas though. I trying to work it so I only have to take 4 classes a semester. To make it easier on me. So to my cousin that is so smart THANK YOU (you know who you are) and pat yourself on your back for me.

Current Mood: grateful

Well life has thrown me some good news for a change. My husband finely got approved for medicaid. I actually got to take him to a doctor. It was such a good feeling. Of course it's not going to cure him but it sure is going to make things easier. I can get him help to make things more comfortable for him. I can go to school knowing that he'll have help a home. We haven't got a nurse yet to come in, but it's in the workings. Thank you God. The nurse even let me give him a shot today, which for a nursing student it's pretty cool. Good old demerol. Maybe now I can concentrate on my studies. Well it's late and I'm tired, but just had to share the good news.

Current Mood: ecstatic

I can't do this no more. My husband has fell 3 times in the last 2 1/2 weeks I take him to the hospital they put him into minor care don't x-ray give him pain pills and send him on his way. Well he fell again today and I made them x-ray with a huge argument they do it and his back is broke. God knows how long it's been that way. With no insurance there's nothing that can be done. They said they refer him to a surgeon. He won't see him with insurance. I'm trying so hard to do everything that I'm failing it all. My grades in school are bad are finances are awful had to pay 53 dollars for a prescription today that check will bounce. They sent my husband home and I have to be at school 12 hours tomorrow. Guilt already starting. I've done nothing but cry all day I just don't know what to do. I want to be a nurse more than I want to breath, but there's my husband who needs. It would kill him if I had to quit school because of him, but I just don't see any other way. He is not stable on his feet the Alzheimer's has effected really bad. I just don't know what to do anymore and I don't want to anything anymore. I'm at the end of my rope. I get mad at him because he takes away from school then I get mad at myself for that cuz it's not his fault, but dammit I'm tired. I just don't want to do this anymore I want all these problem to just go away even it's only for a little while I've got to breathe.

Current Mood: scared

Well I haven't been on for a while, first my puter crashed then I've just been busy. Poor excuse, but the truth. I have a test tomorrow in my Fundamentals of Nursing class. Some of the things we are being taught I'll never use that bugs me. If we are not going to use it why teach it. It's not that there's not enough already to learn. Oh well I guess it's all just part of it. If there are any Nursing reading this answer me these questions. Do you think that a BSN should be the entry level for RN's and do you see a difference between an ADN and a BSN as far as there knowledge? Kinda curious we've been talking a lot about it. My husband is getting worst the Alzheimer's is effecting his balance he has fell twice in a week an a half. Which is difficult when you have no insurance. I hate having to leave him alone while I'm in school, but I have got to go being a nurse is very important to me. There are days though I wonder if I'll make it. Studying at home is very hard. Well I'm signing off for now.

Current Mood: worried

I don't want to do this anymore. My husband thinks we are in PA. and that he still works at the school. He wanted me to invited his parents over for dinner. We live in Idaho, his parents are in N. Carolina and he left Pennsylvania 10 years ago. I've caught him trying to sneak out of the house twice today. I'm suppose to start school on Monday and now I just don't know what to do. I'm so depressed. This is really scaring me. He doesn't even know the cats. Boo won't leave his side though she knows. I'm shaking. I know he is going to wondered off, and I can't watch him all the time. I think I'll have to quit school. I don't know what to do anymore and times like this I don't care.

Current Mood: distressed

WHat a trying time life has been these past few days. I am glad things are back to some kind of order. I'm going to go to Spokane overnight this weekend and I'm so excited. I need to get away even if it's only one night. School starts on Monday and I'm getting excited about that to. In some ways this has been a long summer. I'll be glad to get back to school full time. Of course that will probably change about half way through the semester. I start doing clinicals this semester and that makes me a wee bit nervous, but I'll get through it.

Current Mood: anxious

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